Thursday, 14 April 2016

The Bubble I Live In



From the pen of a reader who is also an old friend and who went through something which every gay goes through... but only a few notice the implications...

I suddenly was confronted by the vulnerability associated with being Gay. I knew about them, but were something 

which were not part of my life. I suddenly realized the difference between knowing about the problems which a Gay might face in his life and facing the problems in real. After all, I had the best family a gay man/woman can aspire for, nice supportive friends, good career... my closeted married gay friends would be envious of my life, till one day. 

A kiss emogi, broke the hell in my beloved's life. I used to speak to him frequently, or exchanged messages on whatsapp. The emogi was nothing new... it had been the smallest of the gestures to say I cared, and that I was around, or that I was thinking of him. The "ji" in return of my simple text "hey" conveyed sooo much. And as a reward I would send him some emogi or just say "kuch nahi bas aise hi". Such an exchange would give us a piece of each other, in our daily hustle and bustle of work. 

Till a few days back, it was soo emotionally rewarding exchange, but a day came when a Straight colleague had looked at the kiss emogi on my beloved's phone. The scene in our lives changed. Although I was not directly facing the stares, the weird looks of colleagues.... but I could certainly feel the urge to bring him out of that situation, before it turns into a hardship. I felt soo vulnerable at the hands of straight society. I sensed the silence and screams emanating from him. All of a sudden the wonderland I used to live in, had vanished; the bubble had been burst.The emotionally rewarding exchange was silence now.

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Punishment for Love


"O Justice! Please wait for some time, we are trying to find what is wrong with our 'crime'. Isn't being imprisoned in love a sufficient punishment? Then why are you people searching for any other punishment for this crime?"

Sunday, 3 April 2016

भूख

मुझे तो आज तक ये बात समझ नहीं आई कि “भोजन” पाने के लिए प्रयत्न बंद कर देने से कैसे भूख शांत हो जाती है...!!

माना कि यहाँ (गे लोगों के संसार में जो Facebook या अन्य जगहों पर दीख पड़ता है) काफी धोखे हैं, अधिकाँश को “संबंध” क्या होता है, इस बात की समझ नहीं है, जिनको समझ है उनके पास दिखने के लिए साहस नहीं आदि आदि... पर यह सब होते हुए भी आपके अंतःकरण में एक संबंध में होने की अथवा प्यार पाने की भूख तो वैसी की वैसी बनी रहती है न...? तब तंग आकर इसके लिए प्रयत्न बंद कर देने से क्या वह भूख शांत हो जायेगी...?