EXCUSES VS. CONVICTION

I often say that younger generation people are more courageous and are willing to take the issues concerning them head on. As a corollary, young and educated gay guys are generally seem to be more comfortable in accepting the truth that they are not like straights when it comes to interest in girls. But of course there are exceptions to this rule.

When you come across with a person who says that he is in a relationship with a boy and will never marry a girl, what thoughts come into your mind?

People generally believe that such gay people belong to the most advantaged strata of society, i.e. they have this preconceived notion that all courageous gay people are from highly educated and financially well off families living in posh areas of either Delhi or Mumbai where people are not bothered to know who is their neighbor. To some extent this notion of people is right, education and financial security makes you empowered. But this too is not without exception.

 A young facebook friend of mine, from Rajasthan, says he likes boys, but since he can’t marry a boy, he would call himself bi and would marry a girl. He attributes his inability, to be with a boy, to various problems in his life! One can consider a worst case scenario, like conservative family, only son, financial problems, pressure of close relatives etc. But why do such people fail to recognize their own reluctance to  face all these problems along with their preconceived notion that those who face it are from an advantaged section of society.

Let me tell all of you about one other very special friend of mine. He is from that advantaged strata of society where as per some people’s belief the environment is more conducive for a gay to come out. His family is quite educated, no financial problems, to some extent openness as well. Once he committed to someone that they will always be like a couple, will start a family of their own.  He even planned to have two kids (adopted/surrogate) instead of one, as suggested by his partner who was from a very weak soico-economic background. Although they had not planned how and when will they do it, but they were sure that one day they are going to make it true.  But soon things change. My friend from advantaged background begin to feel that perhaps he can’t face his parents, he can’t tell them that he is a gay. Perhaps the reputation of his family and expectations of close relatives were coming into his way. Therefore one day he told his partner that he can’t see in near future any progress in this regard and don’t want to keep him hanging in between, therefore suggested to part their ways. His partner had no other option because it was more like a decision than a suggestion or a request for allowing some more time.

Therefore, I personally believe, your soico-economic background may help you a bit for gathering some courage to do what you feel is natural and right for you, but it has no correlation with the ultimate step you take for your choice. It is your own conviction in ‘equality’ and ‘standing in favor of what is justified’ which provides you the strength to face all difficulties. Those who don’t have this conviction just find an excuse in their socio-economic condition. Therefore I urge everyone not to make frivolous excuses to hid their own reluctance and cowardice, because even if you succeed in fooling others, there is no escape from the guilt you will always have in your mind for rest of your life.

                                                                                                           ~Prove That Gays Can Love Too.