It
is a quite clear to everybody that Gays are afraid of people making fun of
them. They are even more afraid of the situation when they are in a
relationship and are laughed at for the same. Isn’t this fear a self-defeating
thing? Many gays face humiliating circumstances right from their childhood due
to slightest of effeminate manners. Many adjust themselves according to the conditions
of the society, while others face constant humiliation. If one analyzes it
deeply, both are at loss!! The one who shows through his conduct that he is a
gay, faces the obvious humiliation and hence the mental agony (By ‘by his
conduct’ I mean by being in a relationship with another man and not by blatantly
being effeminate male). But the other who
changes himself according to the wishes of society isn’t far better! He is also
constantly fighting with himself, killing his wishes each day, forcing himself
into a relationship which his very basic instincts deny. (Not talking about
those shameless creatures and I don’t even call them gays, who would anyhow
manage to bring the physical pleasure into their lives by repeatedly making
innocent boys who are not yet sure of things, their victim.)
If
in either ways gays have to face mental agony, which way gays should choose
then? Or is it the case that this mental agony is the fate of gays?
I
would rather like to choose the first agony. Because- Firstly, I would not be
alone in it like I would be if I choose to remain in closet and marry a girl.
Secondly, at least I would be the way I want to be. At least I would be sharing
some memorable moments with a person of my choice which I can’t imagine being
with a woman (rather following the social norms, the time I would be spending
with a woman will be like a curse and on seeing a gay couple I would be further
cursing myself for taking such decision). Thirdly, by being with a man and
hearing all kind of taunts from family and friends, at least I would be
clearing the way for the generations to come. At least they will have to face
lesser resistance when they take similar decision.
Further
I don’t feel that mental agony is the ultimate fate of gays. I have seen few
men and women who have not married to anyone for reasons other than their
sexuality. Of course they have to face criticism of society although that is more
like sympathy towards them. I often ask myself, why gays need to beat the drums
in public to let everyone know of their sexuality, why gays have to open
themselves for public and social scrutiny, why gays have to give others an
opportunity to demean them by giving various examples.
I
also think of a possibility where a gay couple doesn’t officially declare
before the society at large that they are a couple. Where close family members
are informed, not the people in extended family. Where at least few family
members understand and come out in support of the couple. The couple together
with these understanding family members along with similar gay friends defends
its decision of remaining unmarried (in the eyes of society). Where both the
persons behave and conduct themselves individually in a manner enviable to even
those who are married according to the social norms. Of course people will
taunt behind your back, but isn’t it true that they do it for everyone? After
all one shall have to take some pain and/or risk for leading a life of his own
choice! If such possibility exists even remotely, isn’t it far better than
condemning your entire life by sacrificing all your wishes which you believe
are natural and justified?
~Prove That Gays Can Love Too.
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