The Desire of a Top!!

Life of a 19-20 year old gay boy, who has decided to live like a gay, is full of difficulties.  There is hardly any chance of him getting any counseling from a prudent person who is not biased against gays. At this age his feelings are tender and he himself doesn’t know the words like ‘adjustments’ and ‘compromises’. He wants to make all his dreams come true. Not a single bit of giving up!

And therefore many stare at the gloomy future where they are not able to find anyone suitable to them at all. I don’t know if it is the case with most of the gays, but many, for sure, want to find a top for themselves. They want someone who treats them like a woman! Who can take responsibility of them! Who fulfills all their tantrums! Although very few are not ashamed in accepting this. But this doesn’t make their lives easier, rather it increases their difficulties as they are not able to find any person like they desire. Then they say that most of so called tops are not interested in relationships and those who are interested in relationships are bottom!! The difficulty is apparent; they don’t want to live with a bottom like they themselves are!! And hence the loneliness.

I feel that the words like ‘tops’ and ‘bottoms’ do not exist in a relationship. Rather these are terminologies invented by sex seekers where they need a submissive (or a more active) person to fulfill their desires. In a relationship, the desire to protect the other person from all odds is mutual, the desire to do something for the other person defying your own imagination is reciprocal, and the desire to do something courageous is joint. Therefore from where comes the question of one protecting another, while other just sits and watches? Further you cannot expect one sided responsibility and liabilities right in the genesis of a relationship.

I feel, the desire of a 20 years old gay to have a top for life long relationship is more out of innocence and at the same time is unmindful of the hard realities of life which forces one to be more mature, more courageous and more stubborn.  And the best remedy for this is time. Merely with the passage of time these 20 years olds will realize that they will have to sacrifice something for getting something or someone. I am just afraid of the possibility of them giving up all hope and deciding something dangerous before allowing time to teach them this valuable lesson of life. 

~Prove That Gays Can Love Too.