Last
night, I was watching fondly, some funny wedding moments in a Program on TLC
Channel. The way, couples were rubbing cakes on each other’s faces, was not
only very funny but had a deep underlying meaning to me. Such apparently
hostile act in public is actually a sense of confidence on your beloved, that
no matter how greatly you insult him or her in public the love between you
shall remain intact!
I
had never been fond of marriages ever since my childhood. I used to blush and
feel uncomfortable whenever a roving relative would make a reference to my
imminent marriage. There was a time when out of my innocence or ignorance of
hard facts of life, I used to think that I would never marry. Perhaps it was
due to my natural gay tendency which was opposing the customary form of
marriage with a girl. But it didn’t last long, and soon I was sure that I want
to marry and have a family of my own, although not with a girl as everybody
seem to believe and desire.
It
was only then that my fondness of observing wedding rituals started and
dreaming about my marriage as well. I remember very distinctly watching on TV,
a very strange practice of ‘blackening’ in Scotland where bride and groom are drenched in rotten
and smelly food substances like eggs, spoiled curry, sauces, mud, flour etc paraded
all over the town and then tied to a pole where passersby laugh at them. This
is one such foreign wedding tradition which is quite amusing to me. Of course
there are plenty of Indian wedding traditions as well which are equally or
perhaps even more amusing than the one described above. But why am I discussing
all this here? I hardly believe even if I marry a boy of my own choice, there
would be a ‘Haldi Ceremony’ of either of
us. And I know even many Gays would be laughing at such desires of mine! For
them, at most, a living in type of relationship would be sufficient where
nobody is informed necessarily of your choice. Isn’t it a tragedy in itself? I
feel so sorry that most of us (among Gays) are so affected by the inherently straights
centric environment that we don’t even want to dream about those things which
straights do in ordinary course of their lives. We are ourselves so prejudice
against Gays, that we find it foolish even to think about a very small, private
and decent wedding ceremony for us! We ourselves think that we don’t deserve
it! 
I
know, many of our close relatives and friends would not be the part of any such
ceremony if we dare to plan for one, I know it would be foolish in first place
to replicate or borrow wedding ceremonies from a straights centric society,
still why can’t we have the pleasure of inviting those few to our wedding who
understand us, why can’t we be a little more innovative and find our own
ceremonies which are free from heterosexual prejudices!
Having
recalled few traditionally ‘reserved for straights’ ceremonies, I would like to
share what a Gay Friend (unfortunately whose name I don’t remember anymore)
told me a year back. He and his companion went to the Sacred Golden Temple and
exchanged ‘Kadas’ the traditional Sikh metallic bangles. It sounded to me so
romantic, loving, cute and religious at the same time that no traditional
straight wedding ceremony (which are often performed without much of thoughts)
can take place of it.
At
least the essence of Hindu wedding ceremony is that two individuals accepts
each other for life as husband and wife in the attendance of none other but
Almighty Himself. It is just secondary how it is demonstrated for those who are
present. Therefore I take the liberty to marry a person by accepting him in my
life for ever, in the immediacy and supervision of God. The worldly
manifestation can be anything depending upon my mood, resources and
circumstances.
~Prove That Gays Can Love Too.
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