Spurious Excuses

Everyone wants someone to hug at times!

There are many gay people who are very nice human beings and who can prove to be a “Perfect Life Partner” for anyone who is looking for one. But, despite believing in the principles of equality and knowing that there is nothing fundamentally wrong being a gay, many a times they seem to be so much passive in their approach that they become totally unresponsive for anyone who is approaching them with a intention of starting a genuine life long relationship. And it is not so that this passive approach or rather pessimism is without any ‘reason’, but usually the reasons specified are so vague and illogical that they seem totally spurious. How can your past illness (which is cured now) be a hurdle in searching a Life Partner? Similarly how does you being sexually abused as child disqualifies you from entering into a relationship? Being a gay all of us know how difficult it is to find a person who has faith in ‘gay-relationships’ and who is courageous enough to try for the same. Finding such person ultimately, even after successive and painful failed attempts, is what each genuine and relationship-seeker gay is praying for.  But why do some people have crush on a person who is out rightly declaring himself to be a sex-seeker? Many a times people indulge is such a foolish manifestation of emotions that they forget what their ultimate aim is, i.e. to find a reasonable person who will remain committed to them no matter what, and unfortunately fall for a person for whom they are just another sex date! Although committing such mistake is no crime (and at some point or the other we have all committed such mistake) but it becomes culpable when a person becomes so delirious by such an emotional outburst which renders them incapable for “trying for a relationship one more time” for an indefinite period of time which usually subsume their ‘eligible’ life span.  Living with such an emotional mind is not bad in the case you are happy with your present state but it really becomes contradicting and incurable when feel the urge of being with someone and know that you should move on but you can’t.  Others are the victim of a self imposed exile. They feel for some curiously unknown reasons that they simply can’t be with anyone at least in their present life. Many are simply too afraid of letting anybody come near them.  But one thing is common to all such people with spurious reasons, which is that they all say that (a)Most of gays are sex seekers; (b)Nobody is looking for relationships; (c) People just want to use them for sex; (d)Gay relationships are impossible in India. I ask, what right such people have to say this? They are themselves contributing to such notions about gays! Each time they refuse an offer of a genuine person (who they otherwise like!) they are producing one more example where a gay found to be non-serious for entering into a relationship. There are many-many gays want to get a nice life partner and who meet such people, but each time all they get is despair. I know, every person is free to do whatever he/she feels is right, but it is also a fact that many a times we do many such things which we know are not right and abstain from doing many right things. Therefore I can only urge such people to look within and ask themselves a question – “Why do we have difficulty in finding an

True image of gays, usually remains hidden

example of successful gay relationship?” The answer would be –“It is not because of sex-seekers that gays are considered to be unfit for relationships rather it is because of otherwise genuine gays backing out on the pretext of one or more spurious reasons that we have difficulty in find an example of successful gay relationship.”